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Sigh
Bad week. EXTREMELY, BAD, TERRIBLE WEEK. I should be grounded. Locked up in a padded room, and the key hidden.
It was that bad.
See my daughter's 3rd birthday is tomorrow, I spent all of last week decluttering and trying to clean (and we still are) little by little so I didn't get so stressed and cause my OCD to have a party. While I did declutter and throw out stuff etc., I didn't do the dishes, it wasn't on my mind. I barely did the laundry, again not on my mind, I was focused on the list I created and getting rid of clutter, nothing else. And you know what that means right? I completely ignored eating. So far as to forget I was cooking dinner or making my son's lunch. It meant take out, and throwing together random crap meals because I had to. It meant I was so distracted by what I had/needed to do I didn't look at portions and just ate until I was super full.
Distracted, most definitely.
I haven't weighed, I'm afraid. I know I've gained. But this is what my brain does to me. I get obsessed about something and everything else falls away. Everything suffers, most especially my diet. It happens far too often. I am not good at balance or juggling. Nope not good at all.
It was that bad.
See my daughter's 3rd birthday is tomorrow, I spent all of last week decluttering and trying to clean (and we still are) little by little so I didn't get so stressed and cause my OCD to have a party. While I did declutter and throw out stuff etc., I didn't do the dishes, it wasn't on my mind. I barely did the laundry, again not on my mind, I was focused on the list I created and getting rid of clutter, nothing else. And you know what that means right? I completely ignored eating. So far as to forget I was cooking dinner or making my son's lunch. It meant take out, and throwing together random crap meals because I had to. It meant I was so distracted by what I had/needed to do I didn't look at portions and just ate until I was super full.
Distracted, most definitely.
I haven't weighed, I'm afraid. I know I've gained. But this is what my brain does to me. I get obsessed about something and everything else falls away. Everything suffers, most especially my diet. It happens far too often. I am not good at balance or juggling. Nope not good at all.
All I can do is laugh
So last week I weighed and it was like a kick in the stomach. I weighed Saturday and guess what? I was down 4 pounds.
Seriously, weighed myself 5 times on that stupid scale and got the same number.
Two days in a row.
It obviously hates me.
Do I get a new scale? Or do I replace the batteries, again? Or do I find a measuring tape and go that route?
I don't know but I have to figure something out before I scream with irritation.
Seriously, weighed myself 5 times on that stupid scale and got the same number.
Two days in a row.
It obviously hates me.
Do I get a new scale? Or do I replace the batteries, again? Or do I find a measuring tape and go that route?
I don't know but I have to figure something out before I scream with irritation.
You can't ping without a pong
...sorry blame Backyardigans for that quote, but it's fitting.
I can give excuses/reasons out the wazoo for why I've gained weight and why I can't get on track or do things like I should.
Believe me. I just deleted one hell of a post that could have been a small book all about it.
Have to say, totally pissed me off.
Truth be told only some of it is whats holding me back and the rest is bad time management and lack of confidence that I can accomplish things.
How can I expect results when I do very little to accomplish them?
My excuses/reasons are why I am here. And they will continue to keep me here unless I make them go away.
I can't fix anything but today. I can't ping without a pong.
So if I'm going to bitch that something isn't working, then it better be after I've sweated and busted my butt, and not because I gave up on myself before I even tried..
I can give excuses/reasons out the wazoo for why I've gained weight and why I can't get on track or do things like I should.
Believe me. I just deleted one hell of a post that could have been a small book all about it.
Have to say, totally pissed me off.
Truth be told only some of it is whats holding me back and the rest is bad time management and lack of confidence that I can accomplish things.
How can I expect results when I do very little to accomplish them?
My excuses/reasons are why I am here. And they will continue to keep me here unless I make them go away.
I can't fix anything but today. I can't ping without a pong.
So if I'm going to bitch that something isn't working, then it better be after I've sweated and busted my butt, and not because I gave up on myself before I even tried..
Cause it's me
Let's see I've:
Cut back on the amount of creamer I use.
Cut back on drinking tea.
Upped my water.
Ate nothing but salads when we've had take out.
Tried to be off my butt more.
And I've gained 3 pounds. I'm now officially (according to my screwed up scales anyway) back to where I started BEFORE I tried Herbalife way back in September or October or whenever it was.
Seriously, the pound I lost last week returned and brought it's damn siblings over for a visit.
How?
I do know I haven't measured or kept track of my food on WW food tracker in three weeks and that's a HUGE mistake. I get it, that's a bad Nikki right there. But I haven't gone all crazy on my cooking/eating. I've practically ran out of my veggie stockpile in my freezer cause I have made so much with each meal. Steamed veggies with no butter only a little salt as sides for two whole weeks!! And toast with honey for breakfast and frozen Smart One's for lunch!!
Le sigh.
Cut back on the amount of creamer I use.
Cut back on drinking tea.
Upped my water.
Ate nothing but salads when we've had take out.
Tried to be off my butt more.
And I've gained 3 pounds. I'm now officially (according to my screwed up scales anyway) back to where I started BEFORE I tried Herbalife way back in September or October or whenever it was.
Seriously, the pound I lost last week returned and brought it's damn siblings over for a visit.
How?
I do know I haven't measured or kept track of my food on WW food tracker in three weeks and that's a HUGE mistake. I get it, that's a bad Nikki right there. But I haven't gone all crazy on my cooking/eating. I've practically ran out of my veggie stockpile in my freezer cause I have made so much with each meal. Steamed veggies with no butter only a little salt as sides for two whole weeks!! And toast with honey for breakfast and frozen Smart One's for lunch!!
Le sigh.
Doing a jig of delight
This week I've been um busy, or more like it hiding away in my books and writing cause it's what I do best. Times like this I barely pay attention to whats around me, sure as hell don't pay attention to what I eat or drink. But I made an effort as much as possible to drink water.
I think I've mentioned my love of iced sweet tea a few times, LOL. Typically I have a glass at lunch and like 3 at and after dinner. In my defense it is water and I don't put the pound of sugar in it like most southerners do. Yesterday I had one glass, just one, and the rest was ice water (and two cups of coffee). Honestly I didn't notice or miss my tea, gasp. I didn't really think of it, I was highly distracted by the kids, making dinner and the book in my hand, I just got some ice water and sat down to eat dinner. By the time I realized I hadn't had any tea, I was full and sneaked a sip of the hubs glass. Yum. But I stuck with my water after and didn't have a need to have my own glass. Yay!
On top of that, I've tested our coffee this week to see how little creamer I can stand. We have hazelnut coffee (we shuffle the flavors) this time and honestly, it needs very little Truvia and creamer!
Double hot damn right there!
I'm just focusing on this for now. Although I saw myself on a web cam twice now in a week and I HATE AND LOATHE the way I look and how fat my arms appear...totally bummed me out and I know to see that go away I need to do more than give up my tea and creamer....le sigh.
I think I've mentioned my love of iced sweet tea a few times, LOL. Typically I have a glass at lunch and like 3 at and after dinner. In my defense it is water and I don't put the pound of sugar in it like most southerners do. Yesterday I had one glass, just one, and the rest was ice water (and two cups of coffee). Honestly I didn't notice or miss my tea, gasp. I didn't really think of it, I was highly distracted by the kids, making dinner and the book in my hand, I just got some ice water and sat down to eat dinner. By the time I realized I hadn't had any tea, I was full and sneaked a sip of the hubs glass. Yum. But I stuck with my water after and didn't have a need to have my own glass. Yay!
On top of that, I've tested our coffee this week to see how little creamer I can stand. We have hazelnut coffee (we shuffle the flavors) this time and honestly, it needs very little Truvia and creamer!
Double hot damn right there!
I'm just focusing on this for now. Although I saw myself on a web cam twice now in a week and I HATE AND LOATHE the way I look and how fat my arms appear...totally bummed me out and I know to see that go away I need to do more than give up my tea and creamer....le sigh.
Starting out 2012 with a...um fizzle??
I lost a whole pound! That's a start to a new year right? The year changed and a pound stayed behind so 2011 wouldn't feel so sad. Ha ha ha.
I think it's a combo of NOT eating crap food, cleaning my house more and me drinking water. Oh wait, that's like a normal thing. Hmm what did I do then...I'll get back to you on that.
I read somewhere about resolutions and how it may be easier for you to stick to them if you make them smaller. Like instead of saying in 2012 you are going to become a crazed athlete when you've been a couch potato your whole life, which come on if we were athletes we would already be them by now be honest, say I'm going to exercise for the month of January. When you accomplish that, say you'll do it for February, March, etc. go one month at a time.
You see, I know me, resolutions/goals/projects whatever you want to call 'em and I don't exactly get along. I'm allergic to them and they call me terrible names. Some of them accurate but that's another blog all together. Saying for the month of January I'm going to work out is like saying I'll one day be a brain surgeon. It won't happen, I give up far to easy and blood makes me queasy....rhyme so accidental. Besides, instead of making it simple like I'm going to work out 15 minutes a day, I make it I'll do yoga on Tuesday and Thursday, Pilates on Monday and Wednesday and on Friday, Saturday and Sunday I'll play the Kinnect and then the next week I'll switch it all up...maybe add boxing or step aerobics, no wait I can dance for a whole hour around the house to Prince, Poison and Lady Gaga (nice combo huh)...or maybe I'll add...see?? That's OCD for ya.
For me it's best if I think way smaller, like today I'm going to work out, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. I have to make it a habit. If by chance I make it a whole week I'll do a jig in my front yard. IF I make it a month I may go buy me a new book. That's a big IF...like the size of Texas huge. I have to make things simple and easy peasy for me to follow, and that means I move as slow as a slug trying to get out of a bowl of jello. But hey I persist, that's a positive right there.
Don't get me wrong I'd love to be all disciplined and start out huge but alas I can't, it causes heartburn and way too much stress, and I end up in a fetal position singing nursery rhymes to myself.
I thought long and hard about what I wanted from 2012. Instead of having a long list of very detailed resolutions, because as I showed you above those details would be a 3 subject notebook per resolution if you don't watch me like a hawk, I am going simple and determined...and somewhat vague.
My resolutions are as follows:
To keep things light and funny, being serious is so not me.
To make each day the best it can be.
To be a better me all around.
To remember today is my focus and not tomorrow or next year. Today is my goal.
I want Henry Cavill to be at my house every Friday night....wait wrong list.
What are your plans for 2012?
I think it's a combo of NOT eating crap food, cleaning my house more and me drinking water. Oh wait, that's like a normal thing. Hmm what did I do then...I'll get back to you on that.
I read somewhere about resolutions and how it may be easier for you to stick to them if you make them smaller. Like instead of saying in 2012 you are going to become a crazed athlete when you've been a couch potato your whole life, which come on if we were athletes we would already be them by now be honest, say I'm going to exercise for the month of January. When you accomplish that, say you'll do it for February, March, etc. go one month at a time.
You see, I know me, resolutions/goals/projects whatever you want to call 'em and I don't exactly get along. I'm allergic to them and they call me terrible names. Some of them accurate but that's another blog all together. Saying for the month of January I'm going to work out is like saying I'll one day be a brain surgeon. It won't happen, I give up far to easy and blood makes me queasy....rhyme so accidental. Besides, instead of making it simple like I'm going to work out 15 minutes a day, I make it I'll do yoga on Tuesday and Thursday, Pilates on Monday and Wednesday and on Friday, Saturday and Sunday I'll play the Kinnect and then the next week I'll switch it all up...maybe add boxing or step aerobics, no wait I can dance for a whole hour around the house to Prince, Poison and Lady Gaga (nice combo huh)...or maybe I'll add...see?? That's OCD for ya.
For me it's best if I think way smaller, like today I'm going to work out, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. I have to make it a habit. If by chance I make it a whole week I'll do a jig in my front yard. IF I make it a month I may go buy me a new book. That's a big IF...like the size of Texas huge. I have to make things simple and easy peasy for me to follow, and that means I move as slow as a slug trying to get out of a bowl of jello. But hey I persist, that's a positive right there.
Don't get me wrong I'd love to be all disciplined and start out huge but alas I can't, it causes heartburn and way too much stress, and I end up in a fetal position singing nursery rhymes to myself.
I thought long and hard about what I wanted from 2012. Instead of having a long list of very detailed resolutions, because as I showed you above those details would be a 3 subject notebook per resolution if you don't watch me like a hawk, I am going simple and determined...and somewhat vague.
My resolutions are as follows:
To keep things light and funny, being serious is so not me.
To make each day the best it can be.
To be a better me all around.
To remember today is my focus and not tomorrow or next year. Today is my goal.
I want Henry Cavill to be at my house every Friday night....wait wrong list.
What are your plans for 2012?
